This month has been difficult, on the 28th and 29th is our one year anniversary, from our first b/g twin loss. We are still doing the Russian adoption. Taking our time. It was our best decision to do. Our goal is family. SO what ever it takes. My personal goal in this IF (infertility battle) was when I started at 21. I told myself and David when I hit 30 I'm done. I will adopt. But after 2 twin miscarriages due to IC (incompetent cervix). And one of those sets were conjoined at the belly button. I cant go through another loss. Not yet. I'll flip my lid.
So we decided to Adopt now. And let that love we want to give to a child heal us. I still have two more frozen eggs. I still have one more try in me. But in time. I think the hurt wont be so bad, if I lost another pregnancy when there was a child home waiting for me, needs OUR love and guidance. So what, not blood, but it all comes down to love. Giving and receiving. We have spent thousands of $. Just like most IVF's do. But I want to be a mom NOW! SO that is what made our decision on adoption. I know its not for everyone. But it is right for David and I. I hope all us infertile's can find the happiness and peace we're looking for. If you have the will to fight, and go through it for 6,7,10+ years then do it! I don't anymore. I need a break from the death. Its too much on this heart. So at 26 I hope this process can bring a baby in our arms!
Patti & David
Parents of angels
Ryan & Aubrey 5/28+29/2007
Hope and Faith 2/5/2008
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2 comments:
hey girlie - i am praying for you guys this month. grief is so painful.
you have fought a great IF fight. and, in the end, adoption isn't giving in, per se. it's just fighting creatively! we're still going to kick IF's a**. she can't mess with adoption :)
i'm psyched for you guys. hope we have some good news to pass along soon.
cm
It was so nice to see some one new comment on my blog. Most of the time I think I am the only one who reads it. I am all caught up on your blog.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your babies. It is really hard to lose a child. I try to think that God has plotted a course for us. One day you will look into the eyes of your son and think OMG how could I ever live without him.
I am going to follow along. Good Luck.
PS I know where Conway, SC is we have friends in Murrell's Inlet and my sister lives in North Myrtle Beach. Did you go to Southern??
Joy
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